Yahoo: Help someone anyone!?

I'm sure this question has been asked a million times but I'm still confused. There's this boy, we've never talked to each other, but I spot him staring at me when we're around each other. It's been going on for around a year now. He's never tried to talk to me. Looking back to last year when we had a class together, I have realised he probably did like me. But now... Sometimes he doesn't look at me though, or he looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking.. do guys play hard to get? Well in your opinion, does he like me, hate me or is this just a big misunderstanding?


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Hey There!


Hmm... i'm sure this has been asked a million & one times actually!.. Joking aside though, i personally think that this boy does like you, and how much? Well, that's the fun part, you need to go find out! It sounds to me like he is rather shy, if he likes you a lot, he may feel intimidated to go speak to you incase he messes up, or he'll think you might not like him very much! It all depends really on his confidence, if he has any insecurities about himself, if he finds you attractive, he may feel that his appearance let's him down if he think's so highly of you!


However, this can be easily resolved if you approach him first, because one whole year is a lot of time for him to have gained enough courage to talk to you, and he hasn't, so my advice is for you to just have a light, friendly conversation with him, get to know him, and if you like him, see what happens in the future!


All the very best to you! I hope i have helped you!


Please visit my blog, helping those who need advice in Relationships!


http://shaunrelationshipadvice.blogspot.co.uk/


Follow me on Twitter: @ShaunAlanPeace


Shaun Alan Peace
Administrator
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Yahoo: I feel bad for doing this, how do I talk to her?

There's this girl at work, who I think I may like. She's always the one initiating the conversation, greeting and acknowledging me, and goes out of her way to talk to me. She stands really close to me when she talks, and at times, she'll touch my arms or poke me on my back. I feel like the biggest jerk doing this, but I tend to ignore her most of the time, and not really return the favour when she greets me. If she'll say "hi" for instance, I'll just look at her and continue walking like if she didn't say anything. If she'll ask me a question, I reply back with very little input, like a simple "Yeah" or "Oh, cool". I can tell she tries a lot to start up a conversation with me, and I feel like a d*uchebag not putting in the effort. Thing is, I'm kind of insecure about myself, and I don't know why she's doing this. I mean, out of all the people at work, she's always trying to talk to me. I generally tend to be shy around girls (which is why I stay quiet), but when I'm with the guys, I can talk normally and I guess I'm completely the opposite. It's just with girls, I feel like if I say something wrong, they'll be quick to judge me or something. Anyways, recently she's only been smiling at me. When I'm near her, she'll play with her hair or stand awkwardly and look in the other direction. She'll also put her lips in her mouth and look down on the floor. I think she thinks I ignore her because I don't like her, or seem interested. I feel REALLY bad and I want to start talking to her, but I don't know what to say or do. My question is: 1. Does she like me? 2. If she likes me or not, I don't want her to feel like I'm ignoring her, what can I do?


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Hey There!


Firstly, this girl seems very fond of you! She has obviously grown to like you a lot in the workplace, and having read you're details, it's clear that she wants to become friend's with you, and possibly, if you allow time to build a strong and trusted relationship together, you may even become a couple if you like her enough! 


Moreover, if she has been physically touching you, then she must have an attraction to you! Which is very complimentary to you of course! I don't think i need to explain into further detail how she may like you, because if you have taken the time to notice these small moments together, and the way she treats you to other's, it's self-explanatory. 


However, i have to be completely honest, you have behaved rather rudely, and i couldn't help but feel absolutely awful for the girl, she has tried very hard to gain you're attention, and i realise you may have insecurities, but don't we all? You can't just ignore her, and simply excuse you're actions because you're shy. I understand how shyness can make socialising with someone whom you have never spoken to before difficult, but you need to make the effort, and overcome this, otherwise, you'll be very lonely in the future! 


My advice is this, go buy her some lovely flowers, a box of chocolates, and even go as far as to buy her a card, just do something that you haven't done for you're co-workers, and show her that you care, and that you have thought about her, it's the very least she deserves, and please smile at her, and have a conversation! I could honestly go on all day, but seriously, be yourself, and be polite! 


I wish you all the very best! I hope i have helped you!
I have a blog that you could visit, it will feature my answer given to you, as it has others!


Feel free to e-mail me, details are on my 'contact' page on my blog, so please check it out!


http://shaunrelationshipadvice.blogspot.co.uk/


Follow me on Twitter: @ShaunAlanPeace


Shaun Alan Peace
Administrator


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Fast Moving Relationship

Hey Shaun!


I met this guy, Tj, through a friends boyfriend. Tj's really sweet, but the relationship is moving really, really fast. I met him on Friday, he asked me out Saturday, we became boyfriend and girlfriend Sunday morning, and Sunday night he told me that he loved me. How can he when he just met me? 
I kinda want to slow things down, because Tj is my first boyfriends ever. I'm 15. He's also the only guy who has ever liked me. If our relationship keeps moving this quickly, he'll be proposing next week!! Jk.
But I do want to slow it down. I haven't even told my mom yet!! Am I over-reacting? Has anyone else had a relationship like this one??


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Hello!


Well, what can i say... i thought this was a joke.. but then.. it's not the first time i have heard of someone whose only just met someone, fell in love and went straight into a relationship.. I like to keep it formal and professional on my blog, i want to give advice in an appropriate way that will not be amateur nor rude.. but when i read this, i thought it was rather funny that you mention the marriage being a weeks time with the speed the relationship, and then i wonder why you had accepted his relationship offer when he asked you out in the first place! If i am honest with you though, i wouldn't have expected someone to be so easily taken.. it's funny to read that he is 'really sweet' when you have only known him for like afew days, and i would hate to imagine you describing to someone you're love story with you're first boyfriend, it's rather silly, and very stupid!


Moreover, you have asked yourself 'How can he when he just met me?' well.. let me explain.. you have acted very desperate, he is obviously lonely, and well.. you were just a very easy target for him, it sounds to me like this is a doomed relationship (if you count this as a relationship, i would call it a joke though!).. 


My advice is this, tell you're mom, don't go so fast, and for goodness sake, speak to him! Get to know him first! Do you know what he is like with others? Can you actually trust him!? What was he like in the past? All these questions, and several loads more, need to be answered! I don't want to make you look bad, nor give you advice in a way that undermines you.. but i can't stand reading rubbish like this, love is very important, it's the most greatest and strongest feeling of them all! You can't say you love someone without knowing for sure! Stop playing around, and take it more seriously please.


Thank you for you're message, i hope i have helped you! 
Please feel free to ask for more advice! 


Shaun Alan Peace 
Administrator

Is It Time To End My Relationship For Good?

Hi Shaun!


We have been going out for just over 5 months now.

I'm 16, and he's 17.

I've never felt this way for a guy, and I do love him, and I know he loves me.

I've never had a guy like him, and I never want to dream of leaving him.

However, we're now at the stage where we fight every single day over stupid pointless arguments, and I feel that through this, we are just pushing each other away.

We are extremely jealous of each other hanging out with the opposite sex, etc.

I don't want to be like this, and I know he doesn't either.

I've got this hope that soon all these petty arguments will stop, but it just doesn't seem to be happening, although we both really want it to.

I don't want to end it for good, but we're constantly on and off, and I don't feel It's healthy for either of us to continue the relationship as we just both keep getting hurt.

Any ideas to what I should do?:/


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Hello!


Right well, it's very obvious to me that your both young, you have strong feelings towards your boyfriend, and have build this loving relationship surviving several months! 


However, the reality of relationship's are that no amount of love will define it into a successful & long-lasting one without trust. Immediately after reading part way through your message, these insecurities over one another being around the same gender seems to create a lot of tension between you both. This is no way to maintain a relationship, or your love for each other, it's not healthy, and very destructive. 


Moreover, if you both were friends before the relationship, which i can only assume you were to have fallen in love, then you need to remind yourselves that you both started this relationship because you wanted to be together as a couple, therefore ruling out that you wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I understand that insecurities can be present in almost every relationship, but it's important that you control them, in many cases, ignore them, and accept that they are just negative thoughts in your mind playing tricks. If you cannot overcome the insecurities, then the foundations that love is built on, being trust, will simply collapse and you will result in a break-up. 


Finally, the arguments you have with your partner will only create friction between you both, my advice is to discuss your insecurities with one another, and without limiting each other to only seeing the one gender, talk about how you would feel more comfortable with each other associating with friend's of both genders. It won't be easy, however, you wouldn't argue if you didn't care, therefore you both need to help one another, not turn on each other.


I can only hope that you resolve your problems in due course, and may you have a long-lasting & successful relationship with your partner. 


All the best! Thank you for allowing me to help you!
It has been a pleasure sharing my advice with you!


If you would like more help, feel free to e-mail me!


Shaun Alan Peace
Administrator 

Long Distance Relationship (LDR)

Hello Shaun!


okay so its been a month now that me and my boyfriend started a long distance relationship's and yes i know there hard :/ but were both committed to this. hes lives 3 hours away but a week from now (last friday) he got grounded and has no phone. at first i was freaking out because i didn't no what was wrong but his sister contacted and and told me. i worry so much and for some reason i think that he wont want to be together once he does get his phone back and break up with me cuz the long distance thing isnt going to work (even tho he says he cares very strongly for me and other things) am i just going crazy or should i worry? i dont know, im just so scared. any advise? thank you so much. 


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Hello!


Firstly, i would like to say that it's without question, very hard to be in a long distance relationship, but it's not impossible for it to become a successful & long term relationship at it's best! I think that for two people in love, especially at a distance, that commitment is one of the most important factor's before trust!


However, having read this, it's obviously that you're both very young, especially if your partner has been grounded and has had his phone privileges taken away from him. When situation's like this occur, it's only natural for the other partner to feel worried, and in many cases, freak out. Although, it's important that if you feel as though he will just end up breaking up the relationship, that you address if you're both ready for this level of commitment and maturity. This does not mean you can't be together, maybe just be friends, and work up to a relationship in the future.


Overall, i will say this.. It's definitely not a doomed relationship, whether it's too earlier for you to be in that type of relationship is dependent on you both, and relationships only work if both partner's do. Keep working at the relationship, stay strong, and just be happy!


I hope my advice has helped you!
Please feel free to ask for more advice!


It was lovely reading you're message!
I wish you all the best in you're relationship!


Shaun Alan Peace
Administrator

Am I ready for a relationship, or should I stay single?

Hello Shaun

I've been talking to this guy, for 2 months now. He's super sweet, and his intentions are good. We are about to date very soon, but I like someone else as well, not as much though. I'm just confused on whether i should start this amazing relationship with someone i have an amazing time with, he makes me smile, we never get in arguments.. Or should I just stay single, and tell him I'm not ready (because I still flirt with other boys, because him and i arent dating yet)?

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Hello!

Right, when i read this, i had several thought's immediately enter my mind, which were 'how can you be ready to date someone you have only known for 2 months?' and 'why would you flirt with other boys if you are interested in someone?'... The point of this blog is for me to give you my honest opinion, it's up to you whether or not you follow up from it, but allow me to tell you where i am at with this...

You can't be so sure you love someone that you have only known for 2 months, you can only find out so much in so little time, you need to build a strong friendship and bond first, and if you're seriously flirting with other boys while interested in someone you want to ask out, you are clearly not mature enough, let alone ready for a relationship of any sort. I feel as though you will play with his feelings, and possibly be the one to break up the relationship when you get bored of him and want to go flirt with others. 

Furthermore, i can't believe you would have feelings for another boy, and still have in mind dating the one you are talking about on here, i wouldn't usually advice one answer, but instead give you several options, but for this case.. don't start this 'amazing' relationship you are imagining, you're obviously not ready. 

Apologises if this advice has in anyway offended you, or at all upset you, however, i will only be truthful in my opinion when i advise those who ask for my help.

Thank you for your time & message.

Please feel free to ask for more advice.

Shaun Alan Peace

Administrator

I love my girlfriend, but is it time to let her go?

Hello Shaun,


Okay, we've been together a year and a half, we've been best friends for 5 years, since the relationship started, we've had quite a few ups and downs some my fault, some hers.

Recently everytime we have a disagreement she threatens to end it and similar stuff along those lines.

When I'm with her I feel like the luckiest man alive, and when I'm not I miss her, but there are occasions when she talks to me like I'm a piece of dirt and it makes me feel like crying (it has made my cry a few times), we do a lot together, dinner dates, walks on the beach etc. and I get on great with her family.

She knows everything about me and I know everything about her, we've been there for the hardest times of each others lives.

I' only want her to be happy, so should I let her go ?, the thought of it is tearing me up, but I can't help thinking she deserves more than me, she should be happy, even if I have to let my princess leave

I'm scared, confused, heartbroken and just need some advice


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Hello!


Okay, once i had read your message, it was obvious that you have build up a strong bond and friendship with the girl before dating her, which is absolutely brilliant, especially if your after a long successful relationship with her!


Firstly, it's common in every relationship for partner's to have moments that are 'up and down' and in many cases, it creates an understanding that draws closer two people.


However, as you go on to mention, she uses the 'break up' threat when you have these disagreements, i will assure you that some relationships will have this occur, and it's not necessarily a sign that the relationship is falling apart, or that she will break up with you, it's usually used as a defense, but giving you my advice, i would think that by agreeing to break up, that you will find out immediately if she will go ahead and break up, or simply take back what she has said.


Moreover, if she says she will break up with you, don't be too disheartened, as if that's the case, you would only be living a doomed relationship, therefore, be positive and optimistic, and go find someone who truly wants to be with you. But, if she takes back what she has said, explain that you only said you'll go ahead with it to prevent her using it as a defensive response to the disagreement in the future. 


Furthermore, i think it is great that you have a strong connection with her family, which is important when you're in a serious relationship. Although, if she makes you cry, and treats you like 'dirt', it would be in you're best interest to either speak to her about this, or end the relationship before she does, because lover's wouldn't purposely make the other feel this way.


Finally, if you have both been there for each other at the hardest times, that's a quality that should be treasured, and in that case, maybe you should keep trying, and sort the situation with her directly about your feelings. It wouldn't be right for me to answer your question, only advice you on both options, and give reason for each.


Thank you for allowing me to help you!
It's was a pleasure to have read you're message!


Please feel free to ask for more advice!


Shaun Alan Peace
Administrator